This time of year, people talk a lot about the cross, the resurrection, and what Jesus did. And that’s a good thing—but if we’re being honest, a lot of people still don’t really understand what any of that actually means in real life.
Not in a church setting. Not in a sermon.
But for someone like me.
What Following Jesus Actually Looks Like in My Life
For most of my life, I really did think I was a good person. I worked hard, took care of my responsibilities, and did what I thought was right more often than not. Sure, my language wasn’t great—there were plenty of four-letter words—and drinking with the guys after work was just part of the culture. In the fire service, I think it was sometimes how guys dealt with things most people never see. In the trades, it was more about camaraderie. Either way, at the time, I didn’t think much of it.
I wasn’t out hurting anyone. I wasn’t causing problems. So in my mind, I was doing just fine.
At the same time, I always believed in God, but it wasn’t personal. It felt distant. Not someone I actually knew, more like a presence somewhere “up there” who was probably disappointed in me more often than not. And when I did pray, it was usually when something went wrong, and it sounded more like a negotiation than anything else.
“God, if You help me with this, I’ll do better.”
Or, “You remember that good thing I did—I could really use Your help right now.”
Looking back now, it’s almost embarrassing to think I approached the Creator of the universe like that, as if it was some kind of trade.
I remember hearing a pastor say once, “If I ever found a perfect church, I wouldn’t belong there.” I didn’t fully understand that at the time, but I do now. The problem was never finding something perfect—it was recognizing that the issue was me.
The Moment You Realize You’re Not “Good”
When I actually started reading the Bible for myself—really reading it, something began to shift. It wasn’t all at once, and it wasn’t dramatic, but it was real. I started to see that my definition of “good” was something I had created for myself, and I had been grading myself on a curve the whole time.
“There is no one righteous, not even one.”
— Romans 3:10 (NIV)
That’s not how I saw myself before, but it was the truth.
I’ve spent a lot of years around real emergencies, and one thing you learn quickly is that people often don’t realize how serious a situation is until it’s right on top of them. Everything feels normal—until it suddenly isn’t. People think they have more time than they do, or that things aren’t as bad as they really are.
That was me—just not physically.
I thought I was fine. I thought I had time. I thought I was “good enough.” What I didn’t realize was that I needed help that I couldn’t provide for myself.
When Things Started to Change
That’s when things started to change—not because I suddenly became better, but because I finally started to see clearly.
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock…”
— Revelation 3:20 (NIV)
Looking back, it wasn’t that God had been absent. If anything, He had been there all along. I just hadn’t opened the door.
The Cross Isn’t for Perfect People
This is where Easter becomes more than just something you hear about once a year.
Jesus didn’t go to the cross for people who had everything figured out. He went for people like me—people who thought they were doing okay and really weren’t, people who couldn’t fix themselves no matter how hard they tried.
Even the ones closest to Him struggled. Peter denied Him when it mattered most, and the rest scattered when things got hard. And yet, He didn’t walk away from them. In fact, when the women came to the tomb, the message they were given was, “Go, tell his disciples and Peter…”—He named him specifically. The very one who denied Him wasn’t pushed aside—he was called back.
“But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee.’”
— Mark 16:7 (NIV)
That mattered to me, because Peter denied Jesus when it mattered most and still wasn’t written off. That told me someone like me wasn’t disqualified either.
I wrote more about this idea in Loving the Unlikely—how Jesus consistently chose people who didn’t have it all together, and why that still matters today.
When Faith Gets Real
When I came across this, it put words to something I had felt but never really understood:
“For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”
— Romans 7:19 (NIV)
That wasn’t written by someone who didn’t understand faith—that was Paul, who wrote most of the New Testament. Not a man pretending to have it all together, but someone being honest about the struggle.
That’s not a polished version of faith—that’s an honest one.
What Actually Changes
So no, following Jesus didn’t suddenly make me perfect. It didn’t clean everything up overnight, and it didn’t turn me into someone who always gets it right.
What it did was change how I saw things.
I started to recognize things I used to ignore. There was a sense of conviction where there used to be indifference, and a growing awareness that I wasn’t as in control as I thought I was. And yes, I still stumble—more than I’d like—but it’s not the same as before, because now there’s direction. There’s something pulling me back when I start to drift.
Not Better—Rescued
That’s the part I think people miss.
Following Jesus isn’t about becoming better than everyone else. It’s about realizing you were never as “good” as you thought you were, and that you needed help you couldn’t give yourself.
That’s what the cross represents.
Not self-improvement.
Rescue.
I used to think I was doing okay on my own. Now I know I wasn’t—and strangely enough, that realization is where real peace started to show up.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you… Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
— John 14:27 (NIV)
Still Walking It Out
I’m still not “good” in the way I once defined it, and I still fall short. But I’m not where I was, and more importantly, I’m not doing this alone anymore.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses… let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
— Hebrews 12:1 (NIV)
There’s a direction now. A purpose. A reason to keep moving forward, even when I don’t get it right.
Maybe that’s what following Jesus actually looks like in real life.
Not perfection. Not having it all together.
Just finally seeing the truth about yourself… and understanding why the cross was necessary in the first place.
Heard in the Quiet
There’s a song that puts words to something I’ve been trying to explain here—“Rescue” by Lauren Daigle. Not about having it all together, not about fixing yourself—but about being found right where you are, even when you feel like you’ve got nothing left. There’s a line in it about hearing your SOS, even when it’s just a whisper—and that hits, because most of the time it’s not loud or obvious… it’s just something going on inside that you don’t even know how to say. And the truth is, even there—God sees you, and He hears you too.
More Straight Talk on Faith
Want More Real-Life Faith?
Looking for more straight talk about faith—without the sugarcoating?
If you’re searching for real-life encouragement and honest faith, check out my book, YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE: Christianity… From a Firefighter’s Perspective. It’s a short, straightforward read—something I wrote for regular folks, maybe especially guys, who want a no-nonsense look at faith that applies to real life. I often think of it as my own “tract”—just a simple way to point people to hope and honor God.
If it rang true for you or made a difference in your life, leaving a quick review on Amazon may help someone else who’s looking for the same kind of hope.
I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to leave a comment below. You never know—your comment might encourage someone else who needs it today.
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