The Problem with Comparing Ourselves to Others
It doesn’t take long to find someone whose mistakes seem bigger than our own.
We see poor decisions, broken relationships, public failures, and obvious wrongdoing. Without even realizing it, we begin measuring ourselves against other people. Compared to them, we feel a little better about where we stand. Compared to them, our own shortcomings don’t seem quite as serious.
That may be one reason the story of the Pharisee and the tax collector has always stood out to me. It cuts through something that comes very naturally to us.
Remembering Who the Judge Is
“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector.’”
— Luke 18:10-11 (NIV)
The Pharisee wasn’t thanking God for mercy. He was comparing himself to someone else. His confidence came from looking sideways rather than looking upward.
The tax collector approached differently.
“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’”
— Luke 18:13 (NIV)
What stands out is that he wasn’t comparing himself to another person. He wasn’t building a case for why he deserved approval. He simply recognized who God is and who he was.
The surprising part of the story is not that the tax collector knew he was a sinner. The surprising part is that Jesus said he went home justified.
The Ground Is More Level Than We Think
Many of us naturally create categories of sin. Some seem respectable. Others seem unforgivable. Some happen quietly behind closed doors. Others make headlines.
Human beings tend to rank offenses and then rank ourselves somewhere on the scale. The problem is that God’s standard isn’t another person. His standard is His own holiness.
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
— Romans 3:23 (NIV)
That verse leaves very little room for self-congratulation. It doesn’t separate people into good and bad groups. It places everyone in the same reality.
The person struggling with hidden pride, the person carrying deep regret, the person whose failures are obvious to everyone around them—all stand in need of the same grace.
The gospel does not create a special class of people who have it together. It reveals that none of us ever did.
What Experience Teaches
Over the years, I’ve learned that pressure has a way of exposing reality.
Whether it’s an emergency scene, a difficult leadership decision, or a crisis nobody expected, people often discover things about themselves they didn’t know were there. Confidence can disappear quickly. Assumptions can crumble. Weaknesses that were easy to ignore become impossible to miss.
Faith has a way of doing something similar.
The longer I walk with Christ, the less I find myself impressed by my own record. Instead, I become more aware of how much patience, mercy, and forgiveness I have received. That awareness doesn’t produce hopelessness. It produces humility.
That’s where the temptation to judge others begins to lose its grip. It becomes harder to stand over someone else’s failure when you’re continually reminded of your own need for grace.
I wrote about the difference between trying to improve ourselves and recognizing our need for rescue. That idea connects closely with this one. The tax collector in Jesus’ parable wasn’t presenting a better version of himself to God. He came as he was, fully aware of his need for mercy. If you’d like to explore that thought further, you may enjoy my post, Why Christianity Starts With Rescue Instead of Self-Improvement.
Grace Changes the Way We See Others
“Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.”
— Romans 3:20 (NIV)
There is a difference between recognizing right and wrong and appointing ourselves as the final authority over another person’s standing before God.
Scripture is clear that God sees sin clearly. Nothing is hidden from Him. Yet the same God who judges perfectly is also the One who provided a Savior.
That changes the way I read the story of the tax collector. His hope wasn’t found in minimizing his sin. His hope was found in God’s mercy.
The same is true today.
Christianity is not a story about deserving forgiveness. It is a story about receiving what we could never earn.
A Different View of Ourselves
“But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.”
— Romans 3:21-22 (NIV)
The longer I think about that, the more remarkable it becomes. The invitation is not based on status, reputation, background, or performance. It rests entirely on what Christ has done.
That leaves us in a very different place than the Pharisee in the temple. Instead of looking around to see who we’re better than, we find ourselves looking toward Christ and realizing how much mercy we’ve been shown.
Maybe that’s one of the clearest signs that we haven’t forgotten who the Judge is.
More Straight Talk on Faith
Want More Real-Life Faith?
Looking for more straight talk about faith—without the sugarcoating?
If you’re searching for real-life encouragement and honest faith, check out my book, YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE: Christianity… From a Firefighter’s Perspective. It’s a short, straightforward read—something I wrote for regular folks, maybe especially guys, who want a no-nonsense look at faith that applies to real life. I often think of it as my own “tract”—just a simple way to point people to hope and honor God.
If it rang true for you or made a difference in your life, leaving a quick review on Amazon may help someone else who’s looking for the same kind of hope.
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